Defending the indefensible: Kiss - Unmasked

I have to confess I have a soft spot for the post-solo-album mess which was Kiss in 1979-81. Dynasty, Unmasked, and (Music From) The Elder were released at the height of my pre-pubescent Kiss obsession so it's possible that nostalgia accounts for any lapse in judgment. It isn't too difficult to find an online treatise extolling the virtues of the first or third of this triumvirate, but very few people are fool enough to claim to like Unmasked. Kiss, I will be that fool for you -- and I'm not even Australian.



The opening track from Unmasked is "Is That You?" (written by a fellow named Gerald McMahon). It kinda sounds like new wave Kiss - you know, like "It's Still Rock N Roll To Me" is new wave Billy Joel. The guitar solo is pretty classic Kiss-like, but Vini Poncia's production is too clean for this to get very gritty. That said, if more of Unmasked sounded like this it I don't think it would be nearly so maligned.



It's a well-known fact that "Shandi" - the most sickeningly saccharine Kiss single of the make-up era besides "Beth" - was a top ten hit in Australia. It's a terrible song, but it's much better than those to come in the Diane Warren/Michael Bolton/Desmond Child collaborative era ("Forever," anyone?). Paul Stanley is the only actual band member playing on this flaccid pap which sounds like it could have been performed by anyone from the Bay City Rollers to the Little River Band. I think it would work better buried on side two instead of being the second song on the album, but then I'm no purist - I frequently enjoy playing Kiss albums on random play (this especially works well with Rock And Roll Over).

The hilarious video was the last appearance Peter Criss made with the band until 1995 and he didn't even play on the album (Anton Fig played drums as he did on Ace's solo LP and most of Dynasty). I love from 2:19 to 2:35 - Ace's performance especially. The bits where he points his finger at the camera and pretends the keyboard sound is feedback from his hoisted guitar are almost as amusing as his bits on the infamous Tom Snyder interview in 1979. I also like when the camera pans from Peter to Gene and Gene has this "get me the fuck away from this guy" look of disgust. I am fond of Gene's ridiculous costume from this era - did he get demoted from god of thunder to god of aluminum foil? God of concrete? He reminds me of Thing from The Fantastic Four.

Paul Stanley's other contributions (besides "What Makes the World Go 'Round" which is pretty bland and overlong) are interesting, but hampered by the production. "Tomorrow" is a nifty pop song and should have been a hit. I like the way the call-and-response vocals build toward the end of the song and if that's not a classic Ace guitar solo then Paul is doing a really good Ace imitation. "Easy As It Seems" is really weird with this traveling bassline (which I suspect was not played by Gene) and the most dated keyboard sound this side of Styx. This could be something from a musical segment on Fame. I can see jazz hands during the "it's easy -- EASY!" part.



I love Ace. Ace makes this era of Kiss really enjoyable for me - drunk off his ass and contributing the strongest material after his great solo LP sold more than the other three. I really love his songs from Dynasty ("Hard Times," "Save Your Love," Stones cover "2000 Man") and his tracks from this record are pretty good, too. "Talk To Me" is the best of the bunch - solid power pop with typical Frehley rhyming (vibration/sensation/relaxation/reputation/fascination/relation/infatuation/frustration) which always makes me giggle, as does the way Ace shouts "crazzay." I also really like how the middle 8 builds and leads into his solo and then is used again to lead into the outro refrain.

Ace's "Two Sides of the Coin" is not quite as great, but is still pretty good. The rhyming is hilarious as usual, and there's something bumblingly charming about the clumsy couplet

then you decide to pick a mate
because you're tired of all those dates.

When I was a kid, embarrassingly enough, I thought Ace was saying "honeytime" instead of "I need time" during the chorus. (I hereby give you permission to use it as a pet name for your significant other.) There's a nice chiming/jangly guitar build during the instrumental break in place of a proper solo and I think it shows what a classy, restrained guitarist Ace could be - he didn't always feel the need to play a flashy solo.

The other Ace track, "Torpedo Girl," has pretty insipid lyrics (by even Ace's standards), but it does have a funky bassline played by the Spaceman himself and the "ooo-waa-ooooh" backing vocals are pretty dreamy. The guitar parts are a little Jimmy Page-y (think Houses of the Holy era) and again Ace provides a nice restrained guitar break instead of a flashy solo. Bravo, Ace!



Gene Simmons' "She's So European" is another really odd, new wave-tinged song. The keyboards during the pre-chorus are pretty great - not unlike something Depeche Mode might write. I presume the song is about a poseur ("She still speaks with an accent from a week in San Tropez") with whom the protagonist is disgusted ("I wouldn't look if you paid me") -- and yet infatuated ("I wanna take my time, she's so refined, is that her screamin'?"). "She's so European" is a puzzling remark. Is "European" a euphemism for something? I love how in the above clip we see Gene tapping his big concrete foot along with the beat and nearly stepping on Ace's cape - the tension as we wait for the Spaceman to fall over is nearly unbearable.

Gene has rarely been in better voice than he is on this album, but the Demon's other two contributions aren't quite as interesting. "You're All That I Want" is let down by a pretty rudimentary chorus after building nicely through the verses. "Naked City" is about loneliness or something in NYC, but it's a bit plodding and boring. One line puzzles me: "Older women with younger men, I've got a feelin' I'm in trouble again." What's wrong with cougars, Gene? MILFs and cougars have certainly come a long way since 1980.

While this album is certainly a departure for Kiss, I am open minded enough to give them room to experiment and/or fail. I am glad they didn't make the same record over and over again. A lot of people scream SELL OUT at the mention of Unmasked, but Kiss has always been about selling out. They have never hidden their desire to sell a shitload of records and certainly have never shied from plastering their name over any piece of merchandising available. Kiss is all about making money in every conceivable way.

Oh, and good times. Unmasked is a playfully good time. Congratulations Australia on realizing this.